The contradiction in me...

Well, let's see here. I've been collecting bits and pieces of stuff over the past few weeks to include on here, just 'cause as Colette and I were discussing over leftover St. Patrick's Day dinner last night, I love the absurdity of it all. And without going into gory details about my Monday, there is more than enough to go around! :)

First off, a wonderful piece written by Heather Mallick, a CBC columnist, about the "stupification of America" after watching Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? - a show which I know nothing at all about, and hadn't even heard of until today. Personally I like going up against 5th graders, they're really no competition at all - just ask my boss' two boys who foolishly took on Jeff Porter and I in badminton a few years ago. We crushed 'em.

Anyway, the link is here.

So from that to this - I now have to admit to watching Cheaters with a similar morbid fascination to witnessing a car accident. Dane Cook (who has the most annoying website ever, by the way) described this phenomenon in his bit about watching some poor bastard get hit by a car. It's become an evening ritual for me now, come home from work and watch that back-to-back with Cops. Seriously, I used to be smart - what happened?

Then there's this little gem I discovered on YouTube. I caught a little story on CBC about the mayor of Oshawa, Ontario losing a bet with Stephen Colbert that at some point involved showing footage of something called a Teddy Bear Toss. Brilliant! Watch the video (which is of a similar event in Calgary) - and revel in the evil laughter of whomever was filming it.

Finally, articles from The Onion that tickled my fancy:
Family Feud Continues Years After Game-Show Appearance
Hungover Couple Unaware They Broke Up Last Night

Enjoy it, everyone. :)

A month and a half?!

Wow, it's been a while. The last entry was on January 5 - I knew I'd been busy but wow!

I'm just wrapping up two very intense weeks of work and travel. Colette is safely in flight between Portland and Greenville, SC, where she's off to visit her oldest brother; I'm enjoying a relaxing day at home and contemplating whether it will be the gym, the grocery store, or both. (Probably both - I'm getting my second wind.)

Two weekends ago I headed off Sunday afternoon to visit with Bryan & Amy, whom I hadn't seen since last March! They're doing great and it was nice to catch up with them again. I was en route to Albany for a two-day meeting. The city itself wasn't bad, and it has some really incredible old buildings - a fascinating collection of architectural styles. The ride over through western Massachusetts was very scenic - the Berkshires are very beautiful and I'm hoping we'll get over there some time this summer for some hiking.

Last weekend we spent the weekend in Quebec City, where I had to give a Saturday morning presentation to about 20 members of our state legislature. There was a lot of off time and we were able to enjoy a couple of very sunny, but very cold, days at Carnaval.

Wednesday was a fabulous combination birthday (#35!) and first Valentine's Day. We were hit by our first major snowstorm and both the Baxter School and the state were closed, so we had an unexpected day off together! Colette made a great dinner and homemade birthday cake.

By the time I had that day off, it had been nine days since the last one! Right now, I'm looking forward to the long weekend, which I've lengthened by taking Tuesday and Wednesday off as well - it will be a nice break!

Phew...

Well, back into the fire this week, that's for sure. Friday night, and I'm finally home after three visits to the Infernal City (Augusta, our state capital) for inaugural festivities and a really long meeting this afternoon. It was interesting, my second time attending the inaugural ceremony (the first being Angus King's in 1994); but the first time attending the ball! Colette came along to both - and we thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

Tomorrow is the Merritt family Christmas - it's actually taken this long to get Jeff, Becky, Kate, Scott, and my mom all in the same place at the same time!

Both families had TV appearances this week - me, at the inauguration, and les Bilodeaux on French TV for a story about a French language school her niece and nephew attend in Freeport. Hopefully the links still work!

Unusual records

So a little while ago, for reasons I can't remember, I started looking for the record for the worst speeding ticket ever written and the highest recorded blood alcohol content. Surprisingly, no one on the Web seems to have been tracking this sort of thing! I came across these two little gems:

Blood alcohol content: 0.914

Bulgarian's blood-alcohol level astounds doctors (CBC, 1/4/05)
Bulgarian doctors tested a man's blood-alcohol level five times before accepting it was 0.914 – nearly twice the amount considered to be life-threatening.

Point of interest - for me to reach 0.914 at my current weight (an average 185 lbs.), I'd have to consume about 45 beers or 35 "airline minis" in one hour.

Speeding ticket: 205mph in a 65mph zone

Minnesota trooper writes 205 mph speeding ticket (USA Today, 9/21/04)
The State Patrol officer arrested the faster rider, 20-year-old Stillwater resident Samuel Armstrong Tilley, for reckless driving, driving without a motorcycle license — and driving 140 miles per hour over the posted speed limit of 65 mph.

205 mph?! Probably noticed by the cops because of the sonic boom. And on a motorcycle, no less - if he wasn't nominated for a Darwin Award Honorable Mention (reserved for those who survived their stupidity), he should have been.

Kunitz and Whyte

The end of vacation, tomorrow begins the new year and I am so thankful for what I've found. So happy, in fact, that I am going to post our two favorite poems, the one Colette sent to me and the one I sent back to her. Here's to an incredible 2007.

--

The True Love
David Whyte

There's a faith in loving fiercely the one who is rightfully yours
especially if you have waited years and especially if part of you never
believed you could deserve this loved and beckoning hand held
out to you this way.

I am thinking of faith now and the testaments of loneliness
and what we feel we are worthy of in this world.
Years ago in the Hebrides I remember an old man
who would walk every morning on the gray stones
to the shore of baying seals, who would press his
hat to his chest in the blustering salt wind and say his prayer to the turbulent Jesus
hidden in the waters.

And I think of the story of the storm and the people
waking and seeing the distant, yet familiar figure,
far across the water calling to them.
And how we are all preparing for that abrupt waking
and that calling and that moment when we have to say yes!

Except it will not come so grandly, so biblically,
but more subtly, and intimately in the face
of the one you know you have to love.
So that when we finally step out of the boat
toward them we find, everything holds us,
and everything confirms our courage.
And if you wanted to drown, you could,
But you don't, because finally, after all
this struggle and all these years,
you don't want to anymore.
You've simply had enough of drowning
and you want to live, and you want to love.
And you'll walk across any territory,
and any darkness, however fluid,
and however dangerous to take the one
hand and the one life, you know belongs in yours.

--

The Layers
Stanley Kunitz

I have walked through many lives,
some of them my own,
and I am not who I was,
though some principle of being abides,
from which I struggle not to stray.
When I look behind,
as I am compelled to look
before I can gather strength
to proceed on my journey,
I see the milestones dwindling
toward the horizon
and the slow fires trailing
from the abandoned campsites,
over which scavenger angels
wheel on heavy wings.
Oh, I have made myself a tribe
out of my true affections,
and my tribe is scattered!
How shall the heart be reconciled
to its feast of losses?
In a rising wind
the manic dust of my friends,
those who fell along the way,
bitterly stings my face.
Yet I turn, I turn,
exulting somewhat,
with my will intact to go
wherever I need to go,
and every stone on the road
precious to me.
In my darkest night,
when the moon was covered
and I roamed through wreckage,
a nimbus-clouded voice directed me:
"Live in the layers,not on the litter."
Though I lack the art to decipher it,
no doubt the next chapter
in my book of transformations is already written.
I am not done with my changes.


Happy New Year everyone!

Christmas Eve reflections

I've spent the past half-hour looking at old e-mails and reflecting on the year that was 2006. The long winter, the hopeful spring, the horrific summer, the promising fall with the move and promotion, and the seemingly happy ending. I'm not sure it would make a great movie, and it was pretty awful to live through. I think it's going down as a tie with 2003 (Year of Cancer) for the worst years of my first 35. It was at times exhilarating and excruciating, but ultimately positively transformative. I'm emerging into the new year changed for the better.

So what did we learn, Mr. Merritt?

1) No matter how hard we try, life doesn't always turn out the way we plan.
2) That's ok. Roll with it.
3) It's true that whatever happens, you can always rely on your family.
4) Trust your instincts above all else.
5) Act in your own best interest, but love everyone around you.
6) Support sometimes comes from unexpected places.
7) No matter how badly you've been hurt, it feels good to believe.

Thank you: Becky, for being a fearless sounding board and talking me through countless days of insanity. Jeff, for steadfastly being there and for always telling me Dad would be proud. Kate, for all of those nights you "just invited" me over for dinner. Scott, for being as much of a brother to me as anyone related by blood. Mom, for helping me move (twice), and really for everything. Joe, for being my pastor and my friend from 2000 miles away and getting me through two of the worst nights of the year by just listening. John, for your friendship, for your superhuman help with the move, and for telling me that "every day I hope you're not going to be here." Janine, for calling when you did and saying you were going to get me out of there. Amanda, for the endless support, even when I make you crazy. And last but far from least, Colette, for arriving on the scene in time to remind me both that Christmas is truly a magical time of year and that there is goodness and light in this world.

Merry Christmas to you all.

Post Thanksgiving

So it's Sunday morning and I'm doing the all-American Thanksgiving weekend thing, nursing a mild hangover and watching Man Utd v. Chelsea on FSC. Old friend Jason was in town for the holiday, and we went to the Portland Pirates game last night against the Providence Bruins. I honestly have never seen anything like it. About halfway through the third period, a five-on-five brawl erupted, with eight ejections. A fight then broke out every few minutes, to the point that Providence had no one left on the bench at the end of the game! The game set a Portland franchise record with 273 penalty minutes assessed between the two teams. Even the Providence head coach got a game misconduct penalty. Spectacular, old-time hockey. (Yes, it felt like "Slap Shot.") See the box score here.